Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Chapter 12: Titanic Trouble

ABOARD THE SKRULL WARSHIP...



SKRULL LIEUTENANT: Commander Xchai'ii, the humanoids have left the vessel, and...


COMMANDER XCHAI'II: And what?

SKRULL LIEUTENANT: And they appear to have boarded us, sir.


COMMANDER XCHAI'II: Pesky humans...aren't they in for a surprise?  Let 'im loose.


COMMANDER XCHAI'II: We'll give those fleshbags a nice, warm, Super Skrull welcome aboard!


STARLORD: Look alive, everyone.  Let's get these Skrulls out of our way so we can get Adam back to Earth to deal with that Monad.


ROCKET RACCOON: *sniff-sniff* Ugh.  Skrulls haven't taken up bathing since the last time we ran into 'em.


DRAX THE DESTROYER: You better stay where I can see you, Raccoon.  If you get outta my sight, I won't hesitate to blast you in case you might be a Skrull in disguise.


ROCKET RACCOON: You may not get a chance, Drax--behind you!



DRAX THE DESTROYER: Crossin' my fingers it's a super.


ADAM WARLOCK: Your lucky day, Drax.


SUPER SKRULL: Grrrrrr...


SKRULL LIEUTENANT: Heh. This oughtta be quick.

ONE ACTION PACKED BATTLE SEQUENCE I WAS TOO LAZY TO SET UP LATER...


ROCKET RACCOON: Look you Skrull scum, get the d'ast out of our way, this Monad thing on Earth will wipe the whole Skrull Empire out of existence, too!


DRAX THE DESTROYER: Hear that, darlin'?  Either I end you now, or the Monad ends us all a week from now.  Take yer pick.


STARLORD: Groot, we've deactivated the shields; hit the Warship's thrusters with a gamma torpedo and teleport us back!  NOW!!!


GROOT: |||||| |||||| ||| |||||.  |||| |||||||||| |||||| || ||||||| |||||!


ROCKET RACCOON: Wait...how big?! Because that's not any starship...

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 13: TALPINAE SAPIEN!!!


Chapter 11: Convergence

DEEP IN THE LOWEST LEVELS OF A.I.M. CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS...


A.I.M. SOLDER #1: You've got to be kidding me!


A.I.M. SOLDIER #1: I know dude! Is it just me, or is M.O.D.O.K.'s head actually getting bigger?

A.I.M. SOLDER #2: Dude! I thought the same thing.  The only thing scarier than that guy's noggin is the fact that he's teamed up with both Mister Sinister and Doctor Doom!



A.I.M. SOLDIER #1: Oh, totally.  And all that talk about the Monad?  I guess for the first time ever, Hulk wasn't full of crap!


HAWKEYE: We better get back to Avengers Mansion and update Cap.


IRON MAN: Yeah.  As much as I'd like to jack into A.I.M.'s hardline and upload a virus, we'd better hurry back to let everyone know what's up.

LATER, BACK AT AVENGERS MANSION...


HAWKEYE: Seriously Hank?  You're gonna bust our balls about all this crap now?


ANT MAN: I'm not busting your balls, Clint.  I just don't think it's fair that for once you're fighting something little like a baby, and I'm little, but you haven't--

IRON MAN: --Hank, just because the Monad is in the form of a baby doesn't mean it's a small problem.


ANT MAN: Nevermind.  I'm going back to the lab to work on reversing the utility of the Pym Particles.


HAWKEYE: He is such a whiny little douche.  No wonder they left him out of the movie.

IRON MAN: Boy you said it.  Let's go find Steve and tell him about M.O.D.O.K. and the Monad.


CAPT. AMERICA: I'm conveniently standing right here, fellas.  You mean to tell me M.O.D.O.K. knows about the Monad?


IRON MAN: He doesn't just know about it Steve; he helped to make it.

CAPT. AMERICA: Helped who?


HAWKEYE: Mister Sinister!  But then Mister Sinister hosed M.O.D.O.K., so yadda yadda yadda, and now M.O.D.O.K. has teamed up with Dr. Doom!


CAPT. AMERICA: Dr. Doom? Crap!  This scenario just gets worse and worse!


IRON MAN: And Dr. Doom has sent Mole Man to the Hulks' Apartment!


CAPT. AMERICA: Wait...wait.  Mole Man is headed over to the Hulks' Apartment?!  With Grey Hulk and Red Hulk still there?  Finally...some good news.

MEANWHILE, IN THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY...


STARLORD: Skrull warship, dead ahead.  Strap 'em on.  We got us a little detour before we get to Earth.


DRAX THE DESTROYER: Honestly, I'd rather get into a scrap with some shape shifters than that Monad thing Adam keeps talking about.  With Skrulls we got a chance.


ADAM WARLOCK: We're a long way from giving up hope yet, Drax.



STARLORD: Either way, we owe these Skrulls a fight.  Let's hope Earth's heroes have the Monad thing under control, and let's hunt us some shapeshifting scum.  You ready, Rocky? 



ROCKET RACCOON: Ready as ever, Pete.  Light 'er up!


STARLORD: Initiate teleporter...we'll sneak up on these Skrulls before they get a chance to blast us out of space!  Everyone...reset your passports, and get ready to board that Skrull warship in 3...2...1....


TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 12: TITANIC TROUBLE!!!



Sunday, July 22, 2012

Chapter 10: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

A.I.M. HEADQUARTERS...


DEEP IN THE DEEPEST LEVELS OF THE DEEPLY SECURED BASEMENT....


MISTER SINISTER: A.I.M.'s resources have been valuable, but I will not change the terms of our agreement.  In return for your manufacturing assistance, you've been paid...handsomely.  


MISTER SINISTER: As unfortunate as it may be that you will not survive to see the return on my investment, it is even more unfortunate that you'll never be as handsome as your reward.


MISTER SINISTER: But those are your problems, M.O.D.O.K., not mine.  My plan has been set in motion, and there's nothing you or anyone else can do to stop me.


M.O.D.O.K.:  What makes you so sure, Sinister?  Surely you don't think I would have created that...thing...without including a failsafe.  


MISTER SINISTER: Spare me, M.O.D.O.K.  You're referring to the genetic trigger you included, which, if activated, causes the Monad to revert to a mortal infant?  I manipulated the pattern and removed it...the Monad's genetic design creates the inevitability of the end of all existence, including yours. 


MISTER SINISTER: But more importantly, it will be the end of Apocalypse!  Once and for all.



M.O.D.O.K.: So that's what this is about?  Your petty feud with Apocalypse?



MISTER SINISTER: My aspirations are far greater than finally extinguishing my ancient foe, M.O.D.O.K., but his demise will be a particularly pleasing benefit.


MISTER SINISTER: Farewell, M.O.D.O.K.


M.O.D.O.K.: God, I hate that guy.  Okay, Victor, come on out.  It looks like you were right after all.  Sinister double crossed me...as usual.


M.O.D.O.K.: Damn.  How did he know about the genetic reversion trigger? I thought that was pretty clever.


DR. DOOM: It was clever, M.O.D.O.K.  But, Sinister's no dummy.  I presume he disabled it?


M.O.D.O.K.: Yeah, he said he did, so I figure...yeah.  What a freakin' gyp!


DR. DOOM: Don't worry, my mongloidious friend.  Everything is proceeding according to the plan.


M.O.D.O.K.: Everything?  Then Mole Man has recovered the Monad?


DR. DOOM: Well, okay, not everything.  But it's only a matter of time.  He's headed to the Hulks' apartment as we speak.  Within hours, the Monad will be in our possession, and then...the universe will be mine!  Er, um, I mean ours.

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 11: CONVERGENCE!!!