Chapter 4: The Monad

In Eons primeval

E'er worlds were born

Two monads coeval

One peace and one storm

Sought each for the other 

Through infinite space.

For ages through ages each was impelled

Now forward, now backward; balance was held:

At last, through an impulse of furious storm,

Peace overcame balance, and matter was born.

After those monads met in embrace

A tremendous motion thrilled infinite space.

From everywhere atoms of peace and storm

Joined the primordials--the first world was born.

--Emma R. Endres, Evolution of God and Apotheosis of Man (1896)

DR. STRANGE: Hey, Eternity.  Good to see you again.

ETERNITY: Greetings, Sorcerer Supreme.  I presume you have summoned me to address the infant in Hulk's possession.  You guys are in deep crap.  Hell, we could all be in deep crap. 

SILVER SURFER: So then it's true.  The baby is...a Monad.

ETERNITY: Not a Monad, Norrin Radd; the Monad.  The one.  

HULK: Hulk get it.  Like Highlander.

ETERNITY: Um...not exactly. 

NAMOR: The Monad?  You mean this baby isn't just like, a god, but is like, the god of all gods?

DR. STRANGE: If only it were that simple.  Gods can be killed...or forgotten.  The Monad is--well, you better tell 'em, E.

ETERNITY: The Monad is what was at the beginning of all.  It is not a god, nor is it merely the pinnacle of evolution.  This Monad was created, and  to fulfill the measure of its creation, must undo all that is in order to do all that must be.

NAMOR: Okay.  I'm totally lost.

SILVER SURFER: Earth scientists refer to it as "The Big Crunch."  It's theorized to have been the cataclysmic event that preceded The Big Bang.  Big G told me all about it once after I talked him out of eating Centauri-4.

DR. STRANGE: This baby--this Monad, will initiate another Big Crunch.  It is the beginning of the end of existence as we know it!

HULK: Why crap like this always happen to Hulk? 

ETERNITY: Look, I really hope it all works out, but to be perfectly honest, I think you're all screwed.  Listen, I gotta go; the Living Tribunal's  probably going to be pissed I've told you as much as I have.  Smell you guys later!

NAMOR: Well, since this little pickle affects us all and not just you surface dwellers, I guess I'll help.  But what can we do?

DR. STRANGE: I don't know that we can do anything, Namor.  But we must try. I have an idea...but first, I must consult...the Orb of Agamotto!

MEANWHILE, IN LATVERIA...

MOLE MAN: I've come, as you requested, Victor.  Be quick, however, as I have no desire to remain on the surface.

DR. DOOM: God, Mole Man.  To the Moloids, you are more than a mere god.  You are God, no?

MOLE MAN: I suppose, Victor.  In a way.  But, I mean...they're mole people, so you know, it's not that great.

DR. DOOM: Still, I can only imagine what that must be like.  The devotion.  The admiration.  The power!

DR. DOOM: Mankind is weak.  The entire human race is dependent upon the existence of gods, whether real or not.  Humans rely on the existence of something divine to give them purpose.  Something to give them direction.  A reason to be!

DR. DOOM: To be that purpose, Mole Man--better yet, to control the need for that purpose...that is absolute power!

MOLE MAN: Yeah.  Yeah, I guess so.  But trust me, it would be way cooler if you could do it without, you know, looking like a blind rat.

DR. DOOM: Oh, quit bitching.  I've got a mask melted to my face, and that ain't all that great either.  But listen.  you help me with my latest plan, and I'll make you the god of this whole planet.

MOLE MAN: Sounds good, I guess.  But what's in it for you?

DR. DOOM: You will rule the Earth, Mole Man...but I will rule...the UNIVERSE!

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 5: GALAXY IN PERIL!

Chapter 3: The Defenders

SILVER SURFER: Where is the baby now?

HULK: Grey Hulk take baby next door with Power Man and Iron Fist.

SILVER SURFER: So are those two...um...I mean...you know....

HULK: How Hulk know?  Not Hulk's business!

SILVER SURFER: Yeah, yeah, okay.  Fair enough.  It's just as well.  If Dr. Strange is right about that baby, it's probably better that Red Hulk not be around it.

HULK: If ask Hulk, always better Red Hulk not around.

LATER, AT 177A BLEECKER STREET IN NEW YORK CITY...

DR. STRANGE'S SANCTUM SANCTORUM!

WONG: Ah, Mistah Huk, Mistah Sivvar Surfah, so grad you are herah.  I wir take you to Dr. Strange's study, he is waiting for you.

DR. STRANGE: Hey, uh...I'm...I'm right here, Wong.  We're in the study.

WONG: Iffa you insist, Dr. Strange.

DR. STRANGE: Jesus...that guy.  So, anyway, Norrin; Hulk.  Good to see you guys again.  We haven't much time, but I believe the baby in Hulk's possession may be a harbinger of the end of the world.  Where is it?

SILVER SURFER:  Hulk left it with Power Man and Iron Fist.

DR. STRANGE: Really?  So, um, are those two, um...

SILVER SURFER: Hulk says he doesn't know, but I kind of think so.

DR. STRANGE: Yeah, me too.  

DR. STRANGE: Well, anyway, I've gotta get you-know-who, but we can't summon him here, we need to go down into the basement...follow me!

LATER...

DR. STRANGE: Okay, you guys stand over there, and don't say anything.  *ahem* "Kiiiiing of 

water, I pray to Nereus...give meeeeEEEeeeee your servant aaaAAAaas my oooOOOoooooown!  I have given you my power, now give me yoooooOOOOooours...mote it be!"

HULK: This like when Hulk play light as feather, stiff as board.

NAMOR: Who dares to summon me...

NAMOR: ...the Sub-Mariner?

NAMOR: Oh...it's you guys.  But summoning spells, Steve?  Really?  You know you can just shoot me an email or something; you don't have to do all this devil worshipper crap. 

HULK: Hulk see you still no wear no pants either.

NAMOR: Yeah, well, like I said, make a freakin' phone call.  If you give me a heads up next time, maybe I'll throw on some drawers.

DR. STRANGE: No time for chit chat, fellas, we have one more being yet to summon--er...

DR. STRANGE: Wolverine?  Spider-Man?  Wh-what are you guys doing here?

SPIDER-MAN: Well, it's pretty clear you guys are putting the Defenders back together, so we figured we better swing by.

WOLVERINE: Yeah, it's kind of our thing.  Every time a new team is formed or whatever nowadays, it's pretty much a given that me or the wall-crawler are going to be on it.

DR. STRANGE: Ummm...yeah, I've noticed that.  But for right now, we're just going with the original four man lineup.  We'll totally let you guys know if we expand, though.

WOLVERINE: Huh.  Really?  Well, I don't know if technically you're allowed to make a team without at least one of us on it, but...whatever.  C'mon Spidey, let's go see what's shaking with the Great Lakes Avengers.*

SPIDER-MAN: Yeah, okay.  I didn't wanna hang with these B-listers anyway.

DR. STRANGE: Whoa, that was totally awkward!  Amirite or amirite?  But no time to dawdle!

DR. STRANGE: Okay...stay quiet.  *ahem* Age nunc, daemonium a regno spirituali. Per te venire per virtutem horum verborum hic elementorum in porta nisl. Bound in punctis tu eris super terram stellam et dolor vel qualis in casu conaris percute me mortuum. Donec fenerabit tibi proderit me malum non facietis me. Forma, esse in rebus materialibus. Iam mihi per vos nomen tuum verum!

DR. STRANGE: Adveho iam, everto , ex vestri phasmatis regnum. Per vox illorum lacuna permissum vos adveho per elementum porta in is hic typicus. Reus vos vadum exsisto per cuspis of astrum quod typicus humi in theca vos rudimentum plactum mihi vel meus pius mortuus. Vos vadum commodo vestri muneris ut mihi quod vos vadum operor mihi haud peius. Vultus , ut futurus in meus materia regnum. EGO iam dico vos ut mihi per vestri verus nomen!

DR. STRANGE: Eternity!  Eternity! Eternity!

DR. STRANGE: Gentlemen, behold...

DR. STRANGE: Eternity!!!

DR. STRANGE: Now, he will tell us exactly who--or more accurately, what--Hulk's baby is.

HULK: Whoa...Hulk totally tripping balls now or what?!

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 4: THE MONAD!

* Yes, that's a real team.

Chapter 2: House Calls

AT THE HULKS' APARTMENT . . . 

HULK: It not Hulk's turn!  Red Hulk's turn clean bathroom!

RED HULK: It's not about who's turn it is, it's about who made the mess!

HULK: Red Hulk just try get Hulk to do Red Hulk's chores!

RED HULK: The least you could do is flush!

HULK: NOT HULK'S TURN!

DOORBELL: Ding Dong!

GREY HULK: You guys are obviously busy, so I'll get it.

RED HULK: Hopefully it's Mr. Fantastic; we'll need his flexibility to unclog the toilet from your Gamma powered dump.

GREY HULK: Hulk, it's for you.

HULK: Say Hulk not here.  Hulk busy.

GREY HULK: No, you've gotta get this.  It's about the baby.

HULK: That case Hulk go get it.  Hulk gotta get rid of baby...driving Hulk nuts. 

SILVER SURFER: Hello, Hulk.

HULK: Hi Norrin.  Hulk see you still no wear pants.

SILVER SURFER: No, no.  Still no pants.  But that's not why I'm here this time.  I understand you've found yourself in possession of...a baby.

HULK: Yes, Hulk have baby.  You want it?  Give to Galactus, he eat baby, solve Hulk problem.

SILVER SURFER: My large green friend, if you've got the baby I think you have, your problems can only get worse.  You've got to come with me.  We need to get to a doctor...

HULK: Hulk hate doctors.  Always make Hulk wait.

SILVER SURFER: This isn't just any doctor, Hulk...

SILVER SURFER: ...and this time, he's waiting for us.

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 3: THE DEFENDERS!!!