Chapter 16: Wazzzzup, Asgard?

IN A DISTANT REALM, BUT A REALM JUST AS REAL AS EARTH...ASGARD!

THOR: I don't know why it's a rainbow, Hulk, but yeah, I guess it is kind of cool that Power Man and Iron Fist have  Bifrost bumper stickers on their cars.

THOR: This is it, Hulk..Asgard.  The Warriors Three should be--

FANDRAL: --Heya, Thor?  What up?

THOR: Fandral? Why dost thou speak like unto a Midgardian?

FANDRAL: We've totally been getting cable signals from Midgard satellites.  Thou must tell us, Thor, hast thee been to this...Jersey Shore?

THOR: Oh boy.  Aye, loyal Fandral, but I assure thee, my fist doth pump of its own accord.  Hast thou seen Odin?  I seek his counsel.

ODIN: Thor? Is that thee?

THOR: Allfather!  Dost thou know where Loki hast made his rest?  And better yet, hath he lain his head next to Amora the Enchantress?

ODIN: Yeesh.  How should I know?  But if I had to guess, I'd say yeah.  That ungrateful little son of a bitch is in his castle.  Kick his ass up around his ears for me, will ya?

THOR: Aye, Loki's ass may well be kicked uppeth around his ears, if he doth not tell me all that he knoweth about the Monad of Midgard!

HULK: Hogan, why Norwegian Heaven have Chinese guys like you?

HOGAN: Norwegian Heaven is Valhalla, Hulk.  This is Asgard.

HULK: Hulk wish he make good Hulk Hogan joke, but Hulk too slow.

LATER, AT LOKI'S CASTLE...

THOR: Loki?  Loki?!

THOR: Brother, Hulk and I know thou art up to no good!

HULK: Well, Hulk not know for sure, Hulk just not like baby.

ENCHANTRESS: Alas, Odinson, thou hast returned to Asgard in troubled times!  But thy brother and I never meant for ill to befall thee!  

ENCHANTRESS:  It is true, Midgard will fall.  But thou art safe, here in Asgard.  By mine act, this I have assured!

THOR: Safe?  If we be safe in Asgard...then what of Midgard?

LOKI: I have ensured that Midgard is lost, brother.  But by delivering the Monad to Hulk, Enchantress and I purchased Asgard's safety from Mister Sinister!

LOKI: In exchange for closing the Bifrost and ensuring the Monad's effect would not reach Asgard, Enchantress delivered the vessel to Hulk.

ENCHANTRESS: Mister Sinister expected that, if entrusted with Hulk, no action would be taken, and the Monad would gestate until it summoned the demise of Midgard.  But Thor, it is finished.  Midgard will fall; thou must remain here!

THOR: Verily, it is a good thing that Silver Surfer intervened, or the Monad would have remained under Hulk's bed.  But I cannot stand by and let Midgard be destroyed!  Hulk, what say ye?

HULK: Actually, Hulk not mind.  Hulk cool if Hulk and Thor just hang here.

LOKI: The days of Midgard are at an end, brother.  The Bifrost has been closed.

THOR: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 17: CHANGE!!!